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<!--Generated by Squarespace Site Server v5.11.5 (http://www.squarespace.com/) on Fri, 03 Sep 2010 09:12:59 GMT--><feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"><title>brandonleetenney.com | blog</title><subtitle>blog</subtitle><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/</id><link rel="alternate" type="application/xhtml+xml" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/"/><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/atom.xml"/><updated>2010-08-19T05:23:03Z</updated><generator uri="http://www.squarespace.com/" version="Squarespace Site Server v5.11.5 (http://www.squarespace.com/)">Squarespace</generator><entry><title>Conversation, For Two</title><category term="personal"/><category term="writing"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/8/18/conversation-for-two.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/8/18/conversation-for-two.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2010-08-19T05:16:05Z</published><updated>2010-08-19T05:16:05Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<div id="_mcePaste">Do you remember that time at Broderick Park?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">When?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">You don't remember?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">No. Should I?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">How?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">What?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">How do you not remember? It was last year.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I just don't.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Why?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">What?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Why don't you remember? How?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I can't remember everything.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Don't you want to remember?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Of course.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Can I tell you?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Of course.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I can't believe you don't remember. It's getting worse.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tell me. Tell me so I'll remember.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Okay.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll never forget.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Never?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Ever again.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Promise?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Yes.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Is it hard to remember?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Sometimes.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm sorry.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I don't want you to forget.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm scared.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Don't be. Tell me.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tell you what?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">About&hellip; where were we?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Broderick Park.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tell me. It's getting late.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Then tell me.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">You could be everywhere so soon. It doesn't matter.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">It does. I wanna be right here, right now.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Okay.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Okay.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">...that was a little lame.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Shut up!</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love that smile.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Even with these crooked teeth.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Especially with those crooked teeth.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Even this one?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">And that one. Those two, especially.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Don't forget.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I can't.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Can't?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I can't not forget.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm sorry.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Stop it.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm sorry.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Stop!</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">&hellip;sorry.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love that smile.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tell me!</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Right, right. Sorry. So--</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">When was this?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Last year. Just last year.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">What time?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Sunset, I think.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Season, what season?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Autumn. It was autumn.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Okay.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm gonna miss you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Don't start yet.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I already do.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know. I'm sor--</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Don't.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I won't.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll remember for the both of us.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll never forget.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">&hellip;okay.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'm sleepy.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Lay back. I'll tell you a story.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">My eyelids are heavy.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Here, lay down.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tell me tomorrow. I'll remember better tomorrow.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Tomorrow&hellip;</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll be here tomorrow.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I know.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll find you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">What?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I'll find you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Can I tell you tonight?</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I might fall asleep.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">That's okay. You need your sleep.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">I love you, too.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">Goodnight&hellip;</div>
<div id="_mcePaste">It was autumn at Broderick Park&hellip;</div>]]></content></entry><entry><title>Lost: Reaching "The End"</title><category term="personal"/><category term="philosophy"/><category term="reviews"/><category term="television"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/5/24/lost-reaching-the-end.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/5/24/lost-reaching-the-end.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2010-05-24T11:34:38Z</published><updated>2010-05-24T11:34:38Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>Lost's finale, "The End," did not redeem or retroactively improve my journey through the show's sixth season. I remain steadfast in my opinion that most of the season is riddled with pacing problems, muddled storytelling, and an unwelcome, almost hurtful distancing from the characters I have watched for six years. Most of these issues are due to the flash-sideways thread that ran parallel to the story occurring on The Island. Though these flash-sideways house characters who look, sound, and, for the most part, act like the characters I know, they are, simply, not them. They are posited as different beings altogether. Different, but the same. As alike as two sides of a coin, in that they are, intrinsically, a part of and comprise one thing, but undeniably unique in description, feeling, and purpose.</p>
<p>Spending time with these wraiths of the characters I'd grown to love did not exactly endear me to the season as a whole. Week to week, I was more frustrated than I ever have been with the show, because, for me, the show has always been about its characters. Its mythology, plot, and mystery have both been interesting and maddening, but Lost's characters have always been special. Beautiful. Everything else takes a distant second to the people I watched week in and week out. And Lost's sixth season robbed them from me more often than I was willing to extend my trust. Or, I suppose one could say, my faith.</p>
<p>However&mdash;and though my journey can not be altered, for what's happened has happened&mdash;"The End" paid off all that had come before it in miraculous fashion. The finale was executed more beautifully, more poetically, more right than I thought possible. Upon its conclusion, I sat in awed silence, weeping. Not for its end, but for its resolution. Of my issues with this sixth and final season, well, the finale informs those flash-sideways in profound and intriguing ways. I am excited and empowered to revisit the season (and, of course, the series as a whole) now mindful of the revelation of the end. And it's all because the finale is wholly about its characters. Those people: Jack, John, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Ben, Desmond, Penny, Jin, Sun, Juliet, Claire, Charlie, Richard, and all the rest.</p>
<p>While, yes, the people in the flash-sideways were not, upon first watch, the people I knew, they did become those people. They are awakened. They are enlightened. They are not ghosts, but constructs created for the very purpose of that enlightenment, resolution, and redemption. Thinking back, Jack's son is no longer just Jack's son, but instead Jack's son is Jack and Jack is his father, Christian. He is able to become the father he always wanted for himself. Kate realizes and embraces a mother's love. Desmond is both grim reaper and arch angel, depending on if one's ready or not. And Ben is finally able to repent... for just so much.</p>
<p>Whether the flash-sideways is a construct of some spiritualism or a gift bestowed by Hurley during his reign on The Island, it is exactly what these characters needed to resolve themselves before finally letting go. And though I am not a man of faith, it is a nice thought that one will be rewarded for doing good with the time one has, for treating everything like it matters, but that one will be able to redeem one's transgressions. Atone and change. At least, be given the choice to do both. It's also nice to think about the value of community, of love and friendship, of brotherhood and family. That through these and experience, we are linked. That without each other, we could not have reached the point where we are right now. It's especially wonderful in the context of Lost, where through this Jin and Sun are given their due (finally), Kate, at last, does see Jack again, after waiting for so long, out-living him off The Island, where Jack sacrifices himself to save those who he's been protecting all along (believing in himself, once and for all), but is able to do so without dying alone. And do so knowing he's succeeded. And where Desmond and Penny are finally able to have their life together, here and after, forever.</p>
<p>I love this finale. Because it is not an explanation or a justification, but a resolution. That's all I wanted. For these characters who have been through so much to finally find peace. And no, this peace does not negate what they endured, for they still endured it. It was real. It happened. It mattered. And through it all, through them, we see ourselves. Our flaws and our mettle projected and amplified. In the end, it's all of that that's brought them&mdash;and kept them&mdash;together. At the end, them together is what matters most.</p>
<p>That and eating peanut butter from an empty jar with only your fingers.</p>
<p>And kissing your constant as often as time will allow.</p>
<p>And being together, no matter where, when, why, or how; what happens, happens, but the choice is yours alone.</p>
<p>Choose to see.</p>
<p><em>Thank you, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof and everyone involved in the conception, realization, and resolution of Lost. It's been a wonderful, beautiful, at times exasperating, but ultimately revelatory six years. I will miss it, for sure. </em></p>
<p><em>But I am so, so very fulfilled.</em></p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>Proving Good and Evil by Any Means Necessary</title><category term="current events"/><category term="philosophy"/><category term="television"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/3/24/proving-good-and-evil-by-any-means-necessary.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2010/3/24/proving-good-and-evil-by-any-means-necessary.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2010-03-24T20:48:49Z</published><updated>2010-03-24T20:48:49Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>One of my favorite conversations to engage in is the philosophical debate focused on whether Man (capital M, i.e., human beings as a single entity) is inherently good or inherently evil. Often, from this one question, a person's entire worldview can be elucidated. Such an immense, metaphysical notion does wonders to shed light on one's most intimate thoughts and can often prove useful in predicting their future reactions/actions to external stimuli. It all depends on what shade of grey that light happens to be. Personally, I'm illuminated by a darker lamp. My mother, conversely, basks in as close to unfiltered, white light as I've encountered.</p>
<p>This color spectrum, of course, can be directly correlated with how optimistic/idealistic/hopeful/just a person is&mdash;the lighter greys to white light&mdash;or how pessimistic/dystopic/cynical/unjust a person is&mdash;the darker greys to black light. This color palette has been used to great affect&mdash;and, unfortunately, to great clich&eacute;&mdash;in all sorts of media. Westerns are especially fond of this symbolism, i.e., the morally upstanding Sheriff dressed in white and the lawless villain dressed in black. Because of this clich&eacute;, the direct color&nbsp;correlation has oft been switched, where the man-in-black is actually the hero&mdash;most usually an antihero who, while morally justified, lives by his own code rather than society's&mdash;and the man-in-white is the villain. Within single media properties, characters have been known to switch color-correlations to reflect the growth of a character, whether it be from light to dark or dark to light. Most notably, we first see Luke Skywalker dressed in white, optimistic, idealistic, ignorant of the dark side, but last see Luke dressed completely in black. It's not that he's turned to the dark side, but rather that he recognizes the dark side as a part of him (his father) and a part of the world around him. By embracing that knowledge, he's ultimately able to shield himself from it.</p>
<p>All of this good/evil, light/dark, order/chaos talk is meant as a primer for the actual topic of this post. And that, readers, is the sixth and final season of the&nbsp;anomalous hour-long genre series, LOST.</p>
<p><strong>POSSIBLE&mdash;nay, PROBABLE&mdash;SPOILERS BELOW</strong></p>
<p>Last night, the episode "Ab Aeterno" aired. Within it, its audience was privy to a heap of (probable) confirmations that (for the most part) did not lead to another, larger heap of new questions. If you've seen even a single episode of LOST, you'll know how odd an experience that is. The most global (probable) confirmation is that of The Island's purpose and the subsequent purposes of The Island's most tenured residents, Jacob and the man-in-black, who I will forthwith refer to as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_(mythology)">Seth</a>.</p>
<p>We learned last night that The Island, as described by Jacob, is akin to a cork in a wine bottle: it is the barrier between our world&mdash;the one in which we live, fight, fuck, and do laundry&mdash;and a force of evil/chaos. The Island, for all intents and purposes, sounds very much like a kind of Pandora's Box. Since Pandora's Box was never really a box at all, but a jar, it is unlikely that LOST's braintrust represented The Island as a vessel more akin to a traditional jar in Jacob's metaphor unwittingly.</p>
<p>The Island's keeper and protector, Jacob, is furthermore revealed to be&mdash;as his clothing indicates&mdash;of the side of light. And it is Jacob who is engaged in a seemingly timeless wager with Seth over the very nature of Man. Whether we are inherently good or inherently evil. While Jacob attempts to prove to Seth that Man is inherently good&mdash;that, when given absolute free will of choice, Man will do good for his fellow Man&mdash;Seth attempts to prove that Man will do evil/create chaos/do good only for himself. And while Seth is a captive of The Island, apparently representative/incarnate of the very evil/chaos that The Island is meant to block, Jacob is able to bring people to The Island in order to be the very test subjects upon which Jacob and Seth try their antithetic theories.</p>
<p>It is this point that I wish to delve into. LOST is about a lot. But, most importantly, it is a show about choice (and the lack thereof). Jacob states that, while on The Island, he will not interfere with his candidates' free will of choice. And it is to be inferred that since Seth can not kill any of the candidates outright, he, also, can not interfere with their free will of choice. Those are the rules as I've gleaned them from the series up to this point. In other words, Jacob will not/can not tell his candidates (his word, by the way, for those who are most likely to prove that Man is inherently good or, rather, those who are most worthy of being tested) exactly why they are on The Island. Exactly what is going on. Seth, as well, can not (even though he, much more than Jacob, would like to).</p>
<p>But it's in the minutiae that the most interesting dynamic exists. It's the subtle nudges toward the light or dark that Jacob and Seth both use to influence the candidates. The slight bending of the rules, if you will. Instead of an explicit fork in the road, Jacob and Seth are both able to act as pebbles atop the asphalt causing only the slightest of course corrections that are then able to increase with time. Most often, Jacob uses his power of influence on the course of his candidates' lives to get them on The Island in the first place (or, in some cases, second place). He provides Sawyer the catalyst which ignites his life-long vendetta. He removes hope from Sayid's&nbsp;vocabulary&nbsp;in order to then allow him the free will of choice with which to choose hope. He saves John Locke, conversely providing him with hope, in order to bring him to The Island so John Locke can choose for himself just what type of man he is.</p>
<p>But are not these manipulations inherently perverse? Is fueling a child's rage and&nbsp;thereby directing the very path of his life&nbsp;any less evil than lying to a man's face in order to convince him to do what you desire? Shades of grey. Light and dark, good and evil, order and chaos overlap far more often than is generally recognized. Does committing an act of evil, no matter how small, in order to eventually achieve an act of good, no matter how large, make that original act of evil any less evil? Conversely, does committing an act of good in order to lead someone toward an act of evil make that original act of good any less good?</p>
<p>These are the questions LOST is asking with Jacob and Seth. It's these answers that I'm most eager for; it's with these answers that the series will then be painted. It's the rubric with which the shade of grey will be chosen.</p>
<p>My answers to the questions above? Acts of evil are necessary to prove acts of good; for without evil, by what would we measure good? Those acts, however, are no less evil. They are not to be absolved due to their result. That much is, in fact, black and white. For just as we could not have good without evil, we can not have grey without its parents, black and white.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>On Writing From Different POVs</title><category term="books"/><category term="reviews"/><category term="writing"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/11/30/on-writing-from-different-povs.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/11/30/on-writing-from-different-povs.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-11-30T23:23:01Z</published><updated>2009-11-30T23:23:01Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p><em>Note: This discussion will involve the novel <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=A_Game_of_Thrones&amp;oldid=328798279"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span> by George R.R. Martin</a> and the novel <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Poisonwood_Bible&amp;oldid=324419702"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Poisonwood Bible</span> by Barbara Kingsolver</a>, though it will not delve deeply into the plots or developments of either. Therefore, worry not about spoilers, folks.</em></p>
<p>At the moment, I'm reading <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span> by George R.R. Martin, the first book in his A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series. Now, I don't read a lot of fantasy. I'm a sci-fi and literature (however pretentious that sounds... <em>a lot pretentious</em>) guy. It's not because I don't like fantasy, it's because my first experience with a huge, sweeping, fleshed-out fantasy story was Tolkien's <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Lord of the Rings</span>. I loved it. And ever since my mom introduced those books to me, nothing in the fantasy realm has been able to come close. It all felt derivative. So I just stopped reading it.</p>
<p>CUT TO: 2006: Two of my roommates while I was in college could speak of nothing but A Song of Ice and Fire. <em>Fantasy?</em> I thought... no thanks.</p>
<p>CUT TO: 2009: David, my writing partner, began reading <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span>. I'd just finished the book I was reading, and knowing that the novel had been optioned by HBO to become an hour-long format fantasy series, I decided I'd put off reading this book long enough. A few clicks later, there it was on my Kindle.</p>
<p>In Kindle language, I'm about twenty percent through the novel. And even though while I'm reading I'm enthralled and captivated, when I set it down for the night I have no burning desire to continue reading. It's a great story with great characters and has convinced me that not all fantasy is as derivative as I first suspected, but there's something missing. I still haven't been able to create any sort of personal connection. Why?</p>
<p>It's all in the way the book is structured.</p>
<p>Each chapter of <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span> is written from the point of view of one of eight different characters. Therefore, each chapter presents events, new and old, from that character's POV, shifting the reader's own POV of the event as more and more information unfolds. It's brave and bold and quite interesting. But the real kicker is that Martin employs a third-person limited POV instead of a first-person limited POV from the chapter-character's POV. It's that distance that is keeping me at arm's length. Instead of being placed inside those characters, chapter by chapter, I'm told about the hardships and changes and emotions those characters are enduring from a distance. It's the difference between reading a memoir and an edited recorded history of that memoirist's life. While the recorded history is interesting and filled with useful information and tons of knowledge, I'd take the first-hand, first-person memoir every time. There's a connection there that speaks volumes more than any history book can. And while I'm reading <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span> I feel as if I'm reading a recorded history of Westeros instead of the sweeping tale of Westeros' inhabitants.</p>
<p>What's most frustrating is that I've seen the chapter-by-chapter-POV-shift structure used to such great success in the past. My favorite example is Barbara Kingsolver's novel <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Poisonwood Bible</span>. Each chapter is narrated, from that characters first-person limited POV, by one of the five women of a missionary family while living in British Congo. Each of the women are of different ages, of different maturity levels, and of different experience levels, and each chapter (much like <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span>) presents events, new and old, from each character's different perspective. But the main difference is that, because Kingsolver employs a first-person limited POV, I'm able to make a genuine, personal connection to each character. Even further, Kingsolver alters her writing style and voice from chapter to chapter, depending on which character's POV we're seeing the world from. Not only is it a brilliant marker for the reader's brain to decipher who's speaking and how we're now seeing the world, but it's another layer of distance eliminated. Whereas Martin is keeping me at arm's length, presenting an even, historical representation of his world as it happens to his characters, Kingsolver invites her readers closer, embraces that her characters will have vastly different (and often conflicting) viewpoints and embraces that the personal connection gained by seeing events wholly through the eyes of a first-hand source is unmatched.</p>
<p>I just can't help but feel like I'm opening a history book every time I (figuartively) crack the spine of <span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Game of Thrones</span>. It's a shame, too, because the story is quite good. And Martin is an outstounding author. But it's his choice to keep his unwaivering writing style throughout the book while using a shifted third-person limited POV that has driven a wedge between me and his novel. Above all, I'm reading to be entertained and enlightened, not because I fear that I'm going to be tested on the political leanings of the Starks and the Lannisters on tommorow's The History of Westeros exam.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>Reading, Abstracted</title><category term="books"/><category term="personal"/><category term="reviews"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/10/28/reading-abstracted.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/10/28/reading-abstracted.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-10-29T02:04:28Z</published><updated>2009-10-29T02:04:28Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>I love to read. In fact, I'm quite sure that I only love to write because I love to read. Creating, toiling away, writing is the work; reading is the reward. Knowing this (and because I just turned 23 a few days ago), a group of my family and friends chipped in to buy me the latest, greatest breakthrough in reading technology: the Amazon Kindle 2. It's an eReader. A digital, wafer-thin physical book-made-from-paper replacement. It can hold about 1,500 books in its memory stores, enough to make the question "What's the one book you'd take with you if you knew you were to be stranded on a deserted island without the hope of rescue?" obsolete. Its screen uses new-fangled eInk technology which arranges and rearranges negatively or positively charged microcapsules into patterns allowing for very low energy consumption (as it only draws power when the pattern needs to be changed, i.e. when you virtually turn a page) while also being very easy on the eyes. The eye-strain problems of the ever-ubiquitous LCD screen are a thing of the past with eInk. (And with my poor-excuses for eyes, that's important.) Though, the drawback is it can only display text and images in grayscale. No color whatsoever. But, since it's an eReader, meant for eBooks, that's hardly an issue. And it's especially easy to forget when you're staring at an electronic display that you'd swear is a printed page, with honest-to-goodness ink stamped on actual paper made from trees. It really is amazing.</p>
<p>But it's not the technology of Amazon's Kindle or the sheer glee of knowing I have the capability to carry around my entire library of literature in the palm of my hand, it's the abstraction of reading itself. Rather, it's the abstraction of what it is to be a book, to own books, to have a library. I know this feeling well, as I've experienced it twice now, first with music, second with movies, but with books it's different. Scrawling some grouping of symbols meant to represent ideas on a physical, portable surface has been a tried-and-true process since, well, the beginning of recorded history. It's this process <em>that recorded history</em>. Music wasn't portable until the 20th Century in any kind of ubiquitous portable format. Movies couldn't be carried around until even later. But books, well, they've been around for a while. They've been transported, the information within them shared for a long, long time. And while the process of creating a book has changed, become streamlined and more modern, the idea of a book is pretty much the same.</p>
<p>And now I'm just giving up on them? As much as I love reading, I love the experience of reading perhaps even more. The smell of new, crisp book pages. The cracking of a book's spine, that visual representation of one's love for a book, showing just how often it finds its way back into one's hands. The feel of the different weights of paper, always unique, always a new challenge to learn the pages' properties. Hell, even the bookmarks and the cover art. But now that I own a Kindle, all of that seems to be a thing of the past. I'm removed from that experience and left with only the ideas inside the book, which, at once, is a very interesting prospect in and of itself and a crying shame.</p>
<p>It's interesting because my focus will be fully on the words, sentences, paragraphs, and the ideas of which they're a part. From what I've noticed thus far, I'm reading faster than I ever had before, and I'm able to read multiple books at once with far more ease than was possible with actual, printed books. But I really do miss the tactile sensation that reading used to provide. The Kindle is cold, devoid of emotion. I can't foresee any future memories of me reading being quite as warm or nostalgic any longer. And though I've not finished a book on my Kindle yet, I can't foresee that moment being as satisfying as it always has been: watching the pages of one's book slowly creep farther and farther to the left on one's bookmark until <em>SLAM</em>, the book cover closes after that last sentence is read, the puff of air enveloping one's head as the closed book rests atop one's chest. With the Kindle, it's merely a press of the Next button as a status bar creeps along the bottom of the drab, grey screen, followed by an unceremonious press of the Home button after that last page is reached. I suppose I could clutch my Kindle close to my chest, but there's no cover art to stare at or heft to feel. Though this process may alleviate the plague of depression I feel every time I finish a book, distancing me somewhat from the emotion of finishing a book, leaving a group of characters. It may at least cut down on the amount of time I'm afflicted since it'll be so easy to start anew with my Kindle pressing ever forward like an emotionless little reading robot.</p>
<p>Apart from the emotional severance, the Kindle also presents an end to the library as I've always seen it. I was never one to display my records or CDs and only own a relatively small amount of DVDs, but books have always been both for reading and for display in my home. I'm proud of my book collection. I want them to be seen, studied, questioned, and debated. I love doing the same to others' collections. But if all of my future book purchases are to be of the digital variety over WhisperSync, stored electronically on Amazon's servers, I suppose my collection has come to an abrupt halt. I'll still be purchasing graphic novels, as there's no replacing those (yet), but novels, literature, anthologies, collected essays, books of poems, will they never reach my bookshelf again? Will Margaret Atwood's <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Year of the Flood</span> and Michael Chabon's <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Manhood for Amateurs</span> be my last two purchased printed books? I suppose I'll get used to this abstracted definition of book ownership just as I got used to downloading music versus thumbing through CDs in a store and downloading movies or just watching them instantly via the Internet rather than searching through the available discs at my local Best Buy. I suppose.</p>
<p>What I don't think I'll be able to get used to, however, is the idea of pirating books. In the past, I've illegally downloaded myriad MP3s and a few (more than a few) movies. I didn't feel any guilt while, for all intents and purposes, stealing music. I felt a negligible amount of guilt after downloading a film (though, for the most part, I've generally only downloaded films I've already paid to see in theatres and want to/need to see again). But when perusing the pirate market of eBooks available, I was struck with an immediate, adverse disgust with myself. Books, it seems, are the form of artistic media (that are able to be pirated digitally) that I find most precious. I think this has to do with the time investment involved. One song is, what, around a four minute time investment. One album, an hour. One film, an hour and a half on average, three/four hours max. But I could spend weeks with a single book. Sure, the replayability of an album or a movie is greater than a book, but it's that first experience, the first read-through that's so precious. More precious, in fact, than a first listen or a first watch. I can't imagine stealing that. I don't want to.</p>
<p>So, overall, I love the Kindle's execution. How it's evolved the way I read. But this abstraction of reading, well, it's going to take some getting used to. Do they make a "new book smell" candle? That'd probably help. A lot.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>Why I Write</title><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/7/16/why-i-write.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/7/16/why-i-write.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-07-17T01:57:04Z</published><updated>2009-07-17T01:57:04Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>When I write something that is published for a mass audience to read, scrutinize, and comment on, it's a bit like tossing a toddler who's only just learned to walk in front of a pack of wolves. Will the pack raise the toddler as their own, accept it and nurture it, fight along side it as if it too was canine? Or will the pack devour the toddler, flaying its skin amidst a deluge of hot, sticky blood? Of course, the former is always preferable, but, like the toddler, it can make the author a bit ferrel, albeit well fed on praise. The latter, though gruesome, has its advantages. Written in the blood is often exactly what I, or any author for that matter, needs to hear -- no matter if they admit it or not. Negative criticism is the lifeforce upon which writers must drink. I know that's the case for me. It makes me better and, more importantly, it makes me continuously push to be better. While words may not be able to break bones, they can often strike far more vulnerable areas of the body -- leaving bruises that last like meteor strikes; it may be concealed, overgrown with greenery, but the crater will always be there. But it's those craters that build character. Imperfection breeds interest. And one must always, if nothing else, be interesting.</p>
<p>This is why I often say that the negative comments I receive are my favorites. They don't cause me to recoil like a frightened armadillo or steam like a kettle about to boil over -- most often they make me laugh. But a few are able to fleck my thick skin and push me to be better -- to never be satisfied, never be complacent.</p>
<p>Because I write to impact people. Whether that impact is negative or (preferably) positive, to cause another person an emotional or mental or even a physical response is why I write. To know that the words that I've arranged in sentences that I've engineered into paragraphs that impart my thoughts and emotions onto another person is the utmost reward. And it's comments <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/16/with-half-blood-prince-finally-harry-potter-has-breath/#comment-172495">like this one from Timothy</a> that keep me writing.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Mr. Tenney &mdash; I have read several of your more thoughtful works and I have to say, you are an excellent writer. I saved your article on Batman 3 (It Starts and Ends With Time) because I so thoroughly agreed with what you said, and I was as enrapt by the way you painted the words. <br /><br />The same is true here. I don't smoke. My grandfather did. And his stash of stuff smelled sweet and aged and wise, with a hint of "leave me alone - I'm smoking". That line you wrote: "Spinning around that word were similes qualifying such a claim. Half-Blood Prince is like a fine cigar: a slow burn housing notes of brilliant character that linger long after the exhale."<br /><br />That is a revelation to me. I could see it. I could smell it. I could see the smoke wafting this way and that, trailing into nothingness, while absolutely bringing home the comparison.<br /><br />You are either older, British, or extremely well-read, or all three. In any case, I am still left to wonder how you are able to capture essence in this way and pass it lovingly to the masses. How?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And just for the record, I am neither an older gentlemen nor British -- and I'm not as well-read as I would like to be, but I do love to read. I am, however, a constant and avid seeker of knowledge and experience. As well as a lover of the English language. So, thank you Timothy. If I can create the sight, the smell, the emotion for even one person -- it's a victory. For millions, billons the world over -- well, all in due time.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>More? More!</title><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/7/12/more-more.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/7/12/more-more.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-07-12T17:58:48Z</published><updated>2009-07-12T17:58:48Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>Three more articles are up and awaiting your eager eyes at <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net">FS.net</a>. Below, you'll find excerpts and a short description of each of the three pieces -- and enough links to keep you procrastinating for hours.</p>
<p>The first article <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/01/michael-bay-is-a-drug-and-its-time-to-quit/">equates Michael Bay to a drug -- and delves into why it's time for all of us to quit.</a> I'm especially proud of this one because it was featured on <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/07/02/page-2-81/">/Film's Page 2</a> by the good man himself, Peter Sciretta. The article also hit <a href="http://digg.com/movies/Michael_Bay_is_a_Drug_And_It_s_Time_to_Quit">the front page of Digg</a> and has amassed over 200 diggs so far.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Then it ended, two and a half bloated, bombastic hours later. And I felt&hellip; <strong><em>dirty</em></strong>. Used up. Spent. And most of all, conflicted. Now, I've seen <em>every</em> Michael Bay film. I'm a self-proclaimed Michael Bay apologist. I own both <em>The Rock</em> and <em>Armageddon</em> as <a href="http://www.criterion.com/">Criterion Collection</a> DVDs. I know exactly what the man is. I know exactly what I'm going to get when I come across <em>Bad Boys II</em> or <em>The Island</em> on HBO. And there's something about that that I really love. The man can direct action. Every one of his films are just beautiful. Visually dynamic (sometimes - ahem, <em>Pearl Harbor</em> - to a fault) and always packed with adrenaline. Sure, his sense of story may as well not exist. His sense of pacing (as of late) may as well be a belt sander, cranked up to 11, grinding away at my eye balls. But Michael Bay is a drug with predictable side effects. Well, at least he was.</p>
<p>It's with <em>ROTF</em> that I think I may have OD'ed. No, I know I OD'ed. Todd Gilchrist of <a href="http://www.cinematical.com/2009/06/22/review-transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen/">Cinematical</a> says "this must be the most movie I have ever experienced." I'll take that a step further - <em>ROTF</em> is the most movie I ever <em>want</em> to experience. It's completely, utterly, unapologetically <strong>Michael Bay</strong>. It's everything that I expected (and my expectations were subterranean). The film hit every beat, showed every explosion, panned around every inch of Megan Fox, but it just did it <em>too</em> much. And that's why I just can't wrap my head around this damned movie.</p>
<p>I should just be able to accept it and move on. Just think to myself quietly as I walk out of the theatre, "Great action. It's not Summer without Michael Bay," and then continue whatever conversation I was having before the lights dimmed and the previews started to roll. But for days now, it's like Optimus Prime is tearing at my brain. Skids and Mudflap make me hate the movie - a lot. The "forest fight" makes me love it - perhaps the most redeeming factor for the film was this scene viewed in IMAX. John Turturro, Orci and Kurtzman, and that Cylon-wannabe make me hate it again. The Fallen on top of the Great Pyramid make me love it and hate it, but by that time I'd had too much, I didn't care, I was overwhelmed and tired. And Megan Fox &mdash; well, she makes me love it and hate it to such a degree that my eyes go blue and I have to Ctrl-Alt-Del myself back to consciousness. Are you seeing the <strong>dilemma</strong> here?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The second, providing all of you wonderful readers <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/02/a-full-rundown-and-update-the-last-airbender-trilogy/">a full rundown on M. Night Shyamalan's adaptation</a> of the best TV series you've never seen, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender">Avatar: The Last Airbender</a>. Yes, it's a cartoon -- the TV series, not Shyamalan's adaptaion -- and <strong>YES</strong> you <em>do</em> need to see it. Immediately -- like, now.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>All-in-all, I've watched and re-watched that <em>The Last Airbender</em> <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/06/23/first-teaser-for-m-night-shyamalans-the-last-airbender/">teaser countless times</a>. Shyamalan's visual style, his direction, and young Noah Ringer's martial arts certainly bolster my anticipation. But there has yet to be any indication of <em>character</em>. And, at its heart, <em>Avatar: The Last Airbender</em> was always about its <strong><em>characters</em></strong>. The series was never dumbed-down, even while targeting a demographic aged 6 to 11 of Nickelodeon. It gracefully juggled serious morals, fun action, goofy humor, and characters that stood as real role models for its viewership &mdash; both male and female. Its representation of its female characters as strong, intelligent, self-sufficient equals, Katara especially, set it admirably apart from most other kid's properties.</p>
<p><em>Avatar: The Last Airbender</em> is the first television show that I want to show my daughter, or son, for that matter. Even before <em>Star Wars</em>. I know. I just hope that <em>The Last Airbender</em> will retain that <strong>brilliance</strong> amidst whatever plot changes Shyamalan has made. This decade's first great martial arts film from an American filmmaker, as Dan Trachtenberg of the <a href="http://www.revision3.com/trs/liftupable">Totally Rad Show</a> puts it, will hopefully be as <strong>impacting</strong> on the world of kid-targeted cinema as its catalyst was on the world of kid's television. I <em>hope</em>. I really do.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>And the third is an exploration of what I call <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/07/09/modern-animation-overload-the-magic-vs-the-magical/">Modern Animation Overload -- The Magic vs. The Magical</a>, where I attempt to figure out just what has happened to the live-action kids' films that I remember so fondly from my childhood -- and why this current generation of kids just doesn't have 'em. And, for the record, I absolutely <em>love</em> what Pixar has done for animated films, for film as a whole. But, because of that, they do stand as the figurehead for the entire movement away from live-action kids' movies -- so, they do play the villain in the article. But villianous they are not. Not at all.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>When I was growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, the majority of my film entertainment came by way of VHS tapes. On those tapes were amongst some of my favorite films then and now: <strong><em>The Goonies</em></strong>, <strong><em>Willow</em></strong>, <strong><em>E.T.</em></strong>, <strong><em>Hook</em></strong>, <strong><em>The NeverEnding Story</em></strong>, <strong><em>The Wizard of Oz</em></strong>, <strong><em>The Sandlot</em></strong>, <strong><em>Benji</em></strong>, <strong><em>Homeward Bound</em></strong>, <strong><em>Harry and the Hendersons</em></strong>, <em>The Dark Crystal</em>. Notice anything? Not a single animated film.</p>
<p>Sure, I watched the Disney classics &mdash; <em>The Jungle Book</em> being the one to which my fondest memories are attached &mdash; but the quantity of live-action kids' films with which I connected is <strong>far greater</strong> than animated ones. And I think you'd be hard-pressed to talk to any eight-year-old whose favorite movies aren't on the complete opposite end of that spectrum. It's just not what they're exposed to now and, frankly, it's not what they <em>want</em>. They're used to animals who, right before their eyes, actually speak, emote, and feel like they do &mdash; and haven't just had some voice thrown on top of their actions. They're used to seeing everything in the closest of detail, not just in suspense-inducing glimpses. They're used to connecting with toys and robots and monsters more than they're used to connecting with actual human beings. It's just what they know.</p>
<p><strong>And that's a shame.</strong></p>
<p>As a kid, when a magician pulled a rabbit out of his top hat, it was baffling &mdash; even when it happened right before your eyes. Where did the rabbit come from? Does it live in the hat? There are infinite possibilities. <strong><em>It's magic.</em></strong> For all the beautiful, heart-warming, spectacular storytelling in Pixar's films &mdash; they've shown me the inside of the hat. They've shown me the very tip-top that opens, hinges down, providing access to the rabbit's cage below the table upon which the hat rests. Amazing mechanics, sure, but the magic is muddled. There are no longer infinite possibilities for the impressionable audience. There's only the one right in front of you. And while it still may be <em>magical</em>, it is certainly not magic.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>As always, thanks for reading.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>What I've Thrown at the Web Lately</title><category term="current events"/><category term="movies"/><category term="personal"/><category term="writing"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/6/27/what-ive-thrown-at-the-web-lately.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/6/27/what-ive-thrown-at-the-web-lately.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-06-28T05:43:39Z</published><updated>2009-06-28T05:43:39Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>I just returned to Los Angeles from Chicago yesterday. Where I was exactly, what I was doing there, and why -- I can't say. I can say, however, that it was a wonderful experience, one that I soon won't forget and one that I hope to repeat even sooner.</p>
<p>And like the recent, albeit short, change in my physical location, this post is an update of my words' location on the Internet. I've been writing for <a href="http://www.firstshowing.net">FirstShowing.net</a> for about eight months now. Within that time my words have been relegated to the day's latest film news. Providing the masses with their fix. And I enjoy it. Though, within the past week, I wrote two articles that I am particularly proud of. One, an obtiuary and commemoration of the recently late King of Pop, Michael Jackson. The other, an editorial waxing on Christopher Nolan's prospective third, and final, Batman film -- a film that would complete his Batman Trilogy and, in my opinion, complete what could very well be the greatest superhero trilogy to date.</p>
<p>Below, I've included excerpts from both pieces, as well as links to where you can read them in their entirety. I hope you enjoy both, though hopefully both for different reasons.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/06/26/michael-jackson-died-on-thursday-at-50-from-cardiac-arrest/">King of Pop Michael Jackson Dead at 50 from Cardiac Arrest</a></p>
<blockquote>
<p>Michael Jackson ascended from child star to megastar to king. Jackson is the epitome of the modern-day multi-media megastar.</p>
<p>Best known for his illustrious music career where he wailed and moon-walked his way to over 750 million records sold and 13 Grammy Awards, Jackson also had a long-standing film career. From his breakout performance in Sidney Lumet's <em>The Wiz</em> where he played the innocent Scarecrow to his epic music video crossover films <em>Thriller</em> and <em>Bad</em>, the latter directed by Martin Scorsese, as well as the unforgettable <em>Captain EO</em> in 1986. Always full of life, even when his life was full of turmoil, Michael Jackson even had a brief, yet unforgettable, cameo in <em>Men in Black II</em> &mdash; poking fun at himself, the very man he so often wished to change.</p>
<p>His life was far from normal, though Jackson never truly had a chance to attain any semblance of normalcy &mdash; but it will be his successes outside the norm for which he is remembered: his signatures on the world of music and movies. Michael Jackson was one &mdash; neither one in one million, or a billion even &mdash; but one, wholly unique and never to be repeated. Nor <em>should</em> he be.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/06/27/christopher-nolans-batman-3-it-starts-and-ends-with-time/">Christopher Nolan's Batman 3 -- It Starts and Ends with Time</a></p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Batman Begins</em> is Batman's birth. <em>The Dark Knight</em> is both his rise and fall to a place even darker than he thought possible. Should, as I expect, <em>Batman 3</em> continue to follow this classic biblical structure, it would be Batman's <strong>resurrection</strong>, his transcendence. The bread crumbs are there, resting atop Gotham's pavement.</p>
<p>But it is there where my thoughts, my ideas, my suggestions branch away.</p>
<p>It starts and ends with <strong>time</strong>. Time, rather a time <em>jump</em>, is a two-fold solution when applied to <em>Batman 3</em>. <em>Batman Begins</em> and <em>The Dark Knight</em> are not separated by much of it at all. Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham and brings Batman with him in <em>Batman Begins</em>. We see the first effects of Batman on his city. We're hopeful. We're excited. Crime recoils, unsure and afraid. But, like Bruce Wayne, we are naive. Batman's very presence causes Gotham to descend even further into madness. When <em>The Dark Knight</em> begins, we're left to fill in the blanks: Batman has garnered a dedicated following. He's the very symbol he set out to be. He's more of a welcomed celebrity than the caped and cowled, distrusted vigilante. And then we see him fall, with Gotham close behind and the people of Gotham being pulled in tow. The small amount of time between the first two films is of necessity. They are two halves, each a side of the same coin, one polished, one scarred. But <em>Batman 3</em> needs not follow that same dynamic. Could circumstances have been different, sure, <em>Batman 3</em> could have easily picked up shortly after Batman speeds into the night. But it never had to. And it shouldn't have to now.</p>
<p><em>Batman 3</em> should take place <strong>years</strong>, if not decades, in the future. Who says resurrection has to be three days? By aging Gotham, it ages the characters (thus avoiding a contemporary recasting of The Joker). By aging Gotham, it raises the stakes. Gotham, the fallen city, having been sunk for years now. A city without any hope. A population without a hero. Batman, still a distrusted wild card. Batman, still torn apart by the loss of Rachel. Of Harvey. Of Alfred - he has to go. But we gain a more <em>mature</em> Batman. One who, in the decades passed, has now seen it all. One who has been continually hated by the very people he protects. One who won't let himself become good in their eyes, become that celebrity. One who truly knows how to use his rage, his torment, rather than the Batman we've seen who only <em>thinks</em> he does.</p>
<p>A longer stretch of time affords the creators a sizable amount of leeway. Sure, while we must lose Alfred, perhaps Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox would then fulfill that role. Not a butler, but a confidant and engineer behind-the-scenes working from The Bat Cave beneath the long-since rebuilt Wayne Manor. Perhaps The Joker was, in fact, captured and contained in Arkham for however long it has been between <em>The Dark Knight</em> and <em>Batman 3</em>, but he has only now finally escaped. The Joker wouldn't need to look the same, in fact he shouldn't. His already warped mind would be even more twisted. And Batman and Bruce Wayne both would finally have to confront the very catalyst of their descent. The singular reason for their own madness over the unseen time between films. Open old wounds that (though fresh for us, the audience) have been long scarred over but never healed underneath.</p>
<p>Time passed is story gained. It is permission to complete a tonally structured <strong>trilogy</strong> as originally intended &mdash; though perhaps not as originally conceived. It's also structure gained. It opens the story to the possibility of a more fractured narrative where we can be filled in through flashbacks about the state of Batman while also providing natural places within the film to include some more classic Batman fare &mdash; flashbacks that, while in tone, would further the story, explain the status quo, and also show us some action of his years passed.</p>
</blockquote>]]></content></entry><entry><title>Pluck</title><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/5/25/pluck.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/5/25/pluck.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-05-25T22:37:41Z</published><updated>2009-05-25T22:37:41Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>Tuesday mornings meant grooming. Preening, tweezing, primping, pulling, tucking. Every Tuesday since she was old enough to care, or, what's more likely, old enough for it to matter. She'd always start with an inventory of sorts. A long gaze into the bathroom mirror. The translucent hair just above her upper lip. The mole just underneath her jawbone on the left side of her neck. Her trimmed and tweezed eyebrows. Her thin eyelashes. Her grey eyes. Her permanently pouted lips and always-flushed cheeks. The small scar that only she could see just above her right temple. Nothing spectacular. The same reflection she'd seen yesterday and the day before that. The same she'd see tomorrow. By all accounts she was pretty. Not to be envied or lusted after, but not to be ashamed of or hidden either. Better than average, but just. She was used to it, to herself.</p>
<p>The scalding water exploded her pores, soaking in the heat, pushing the salt, grit, sleep from her skin. Her face buried in the blue, plush towel, she'd breathe the steam. And she'd return to her reflection. With polished, stainless steel tweezers in hand, she'd comb her eyebrows flat. Then against the grain. And flat again. She'd start from the outside and work her way toward the center. Pluck the rogue hairs just abover her eyelids, the overgrown hairs cresting at the innermost point of her brows. Make bald the space inbetween. Fifteen, twenty, thirty pulls, each leaving behind a small, flushed dot. Most wouldn't notice just how much work she put in, just how much time. But she knew.</p>
<p>Between her index finger and thumb, she claspsed the tweezers's edges around a just-sprouted hair in the very center of her eyebrows. It was dark and a bit thicker than the few she'd plucked around it. With a firm hold, just like all the others before it, she tightened the muscles stretching from her fingers across the top her hand to her forearm and tugged. She felt the hair loosen from the skin holding it in place, the root dislodge and spring free.</p>
<p>But the hair was still there, right where it had been.</p>
<p>She tugged again, and again felt the hair loosen, but still there was no hair between the tweezers's teeth. Again, nothing. Scraping, scratching, with no success. Frustrated, with both hands clamped firmly around the tweezers, the tweezers secured around the hair, she pulled -- and the hair extended. As if growing, right then and there. That milimeter folicle became a two-inch-long hair, a thread sprouting from the very center of her head. Clenched between her fingers, she pulled again, furious and disgusted. Five inches. Ten inches. Hand-over-hand, she continued to pull the hair from her head like a magician pulls an endless-scarf from his sleeve.</p>
<p>Her tear-streaked cheeks reflected the incandescent bulbs above her. Her back against the wall, the tile floor cold on her bare thighs. Her hands raw, her palms sliced by that single hair spooled around her. Coiled like a snake, hundreds of feet long and still attached right at the center of her head. Each new foot wet with blood. With each new foot, a piece of her body unraveled. Her feet and legs unwinding like a ball of yarn. She continued to tug. Her hips, her stomach, her chest unspooling like the thread off a sewing machine. She continued to pull. Her fingers loosened, spread apart, and broke into threads, one thread, that thread. She continued to pluck, using her mouth now. Pulling her very self apart. And with one last pull, one last clench of her jaw, tightening her lips, she unraveled.</p>
<p>A pile of thread. A pile of herself. Plucked apart.</p>]]></content></entry><entry><title>My 'Adventureland'</title><category term="movies"/><category term="personal"/><category term="reviews"/><id>http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/4/22/my-adventureland.html</id><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://brandonleetenney.com/blog/2009/4/22/my-adventureland.html"/><author><name>brandon</name></author><published>2009-04-22T23:22:42Z</published><updated>2009-04-22T23:22:42Z</updated><content type="html" xml:lang="en-US"><![CDATA[<p>At noon today I finally saw Adventureland. Just me and a twenty-something couple sitting a few rows behind me and three seats to the right. From the film's first shot, its first line, I felt a pang in my gut -- I really wish I hadn't come to see this particular film alone. Like Garden State or Nick &amp; Norah's Infinite Playlist were of late (or Amelie, Love Actually, A Very Long Engagement, Life is Beautiful, Jerry Maguire, Ghost, Annie Hall, or Casablanca, to name a few more), Adventureland is very much meant to be seen with someone you love -- or, at least, someone you have some history with, perhaps with the possibility of romance.&nbsp; But, as I was alone, it provided me ample time to reflect on myself and those who I wish would have been sitting to my left as the film played in front of me.</p>
<p>And Adventureland is very much a film that relies on its audience to impart pieces of themselves onto the screen. The film provides the latticework and scaffolding and foundation, but it's what I brought into the theatre with me that pushed the film further than it could have ever reached on its own. In James I saw myself. In Emily, Nicole. In James's fears and regrets about the future and his past, his romanticism and sensitivity and his love of poetry, art, literature and his confusion about how to turn that love into a life, a career -- it all became mine, it was mine. It is mine. The uneasy, warring balance of idealistic optimism and pragmatic cynicism -- it's a constant in my life still. Not only could I relate to what I was seeing on screen, but I could empathize, feel, really feel everything deep in my heart, recall everything from the recesses of my memory. I was no longer watching actors or characters projected in front of me; instead, I was watching myself, my summer between high school and college, my first spontaneous kiss with Nicole, not underneath a bridge in Pittsburgh, but in a dark theatre in Sarasota as Garden State's closing credits rolled in front of us.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span class="full-image-block ssNonEditable"><span><img style="width: 350px;" src="http://brandonleetenney.com/storage/3124072.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1240446510100" alt="" /></span></span></p>
<p>Any film that has the power to become a vehicle for such a personal and cathartic experience is something very, very special. Adventureland is. It simultaneously made me re-experience love lost and the transformative journey of that emotional growth and yearn to fall in love all over again. Adventureland is a beautiful, splendid, sublime film. I love it. No. I'm <em>in love</em> with it.</p>]]></content></entry></feed>